Netbeans should default to using the look and feel of your operating system. If you want to force the IDE to use a different look and feel, there are two ways to do it. I'll cover both.
If you're looking to change the look and feel of your own applications, look here.
Before I tell you how to change the look and feel, it'll help if you know what defaults are available.
Java (and by inheritance Netbeans) come with 2 or 3 themes you can use depending on your OS. They are:
Now you know what they're called, lets see what they look like.
Now, how about getting Netbeans to use them? We're almost there. Each of the themes shown above has a "look and feel" object that you must reference to use the theme. Below are the class paths to those objects that you will use to set the look and feel.
Probably the easiest way to get Netbeans to use a different look and feel is via the command line. When launching Netbeans, you can append the '--laf' parameter to tell Netbeans to use a specific look and feel.
netbeans --laf com.sun.java.swing.plaf.windows.WindowsLookAndFeel
Windows users should right-click on the shortcut to Netbeans, select Properties and append the parameter to the 'Target' box.
Netbeans has a configuration file within it's installation directory which can also be used to set the look and feel. Browse to where you installed Netbeans and open the file: etc/netbeans.conf
Find the line with 'netbeans_default_options=' and append the --laf parameter to the end:
netbeans_default_options="...--laf com.sun.java.swing.plaf.windows.WindowsLookAndFeel"
And that's how you make Netbeans look like a 1980's horror show.